Living Through Silence
by nerdybritt
Summary: Kurt Hummel has a great life as a child until tragedy strikes. He must learn to adapt to cards life has dealt him. Kurt struggles adapting, isolating himself until the new kid, Blaine Anderson enters his life.
1. Chapter 1

Life is like a rollercoaster. It throws unexpected turns and loops at you. One minute you're at a high point of your life, but before you can blink, you're screaming as you hurtle down wishing the ride would just be over. Some people experience little hurtles, while some people…well, they've been waiting for their ride to slow down to a stop for a long time. A rollercoaster is a good way to describe Kurt Hummel's life, but to fully understand, the story needs to be told from the beginning.

Kurt Hummel was a very happy kid with a loving father and mother. He was different compared to other kids his age; he enjoyed playing dress-up, tea parties, and his clothes choices always demonstrated his free spirited nature. Although some of the boys called him names, his parents, Burt and Elizabeth, always made him feel loved and special. Kurt didn't care what anyone else thought as long as he had his parent's encouragement. He was talented, imaginative, and brave. Everything was going well in his youthful eyes until he was 10 years old.

The incident happened after a routine shopping trip with his mother at the Columbus mall for back-to-school clothes. The pair was heading back to the car with their numerous shopping bags after a successful day of shopping. Kurt was determined to be the most fashionable boy at school again, although, he thought the boys at school had pretty low fashion standards to begin with, but he still wanted to make a statement. They loaded up the SUV with their bags, and after buckling up; the mother-son duo began driving home. Kurt wanted to put on a fashion show for his parents; this gave him the opportunity to come up with possible outfit combinations and proper accessories before going to school. The drive home was so fun for Kurt, he sang along with his mother to one of his favorite songs, "You are my Sunshine." All of the sudden, the singing stopped as he heard the screech from cars braking and then metal smashing. The car began to spin and he could hear his mother screaming out his name; Kurt felt the side of his head hit the car door and then the back of his head on the seat. That's the last thing Kurt remembers of that day before he becomes unconscious.

Kurt wakes up in a white, boring room with a weird odor. He feels slight pressure on his hand and looks down to see a clear tube coming out of his hand. He sits up slowly and looks around the room where he locates his dad sitting in a chair in the corner of the room crying. Kurt hates seeing his dad cry. His dad is a tough man, he rarely cries. Kurt opens his mouth and calls his dad's name; at least he thinks he called for his dad. His mouth formed the word like it always did, but Kurt couldn't hear the word. His dad looked over at him, so Kurt realized he did speak, but his dad just cried harder. Burt looked very worried and ran out of his room quickly and grabbed a nurse. Kurt looked between the two of them not understanding as their lips moved so fast. The nurse left and in a few minutes a middle aged man with friendly eyes entered the room. The man's mouth began moving, but Kurt just looked at him confused. When the man realized Kurt wasn't able to understand, he gave him a piece of paper that read: "Hi Kurt, I'm Dr. Angelo. I'm going to do a few tests with you. Is that ok?" Kurt simply nodded his head and the doctor began doing so many things to him. Something was put in his ear, and then Kurt is taken to another room where people are putting these things with wires in his ears and on his head. He doesn't like it at all, and all of the attention is unwelcomed.

Kurt is taken back to his room where Dr. Angelo is talking to his dad. He has no idea what is being said, and honestly, he's frustrated no one is telling him what is going on. All Kurt sees is his dad crying again, and both Burt and Dr. Angelo look at him with sad eyes. Finally Dr. Angelo writes a note to Kurt saying: "After doing tests, we found out that the nerve that allows you to hear is damaged very badly. I don't know if your hearing will come back. I'm so sorry." Kurt reads the note and is in complete shock. How does he not know if he will hear again? Doctors can fix anything, right? Why can't they fix him?! Burt wrapped Kurt into his arms sobbing. Kurt couldn't hear Burt Hummel's loud sobs, he could only feel his father's shoulders move up and down and the rapid breathes. He clings to his dad crying just as hard.

After several minutes Kurt's cries slow down and he pulls away slightly and tries to open his mouth to ask where his mother was, he needed his mother to comfort. She could always make him feel better, but he couldn't finish his sentence. He had no idea what he was saying or what he sounded like. Kurt started to become frightened and began crying again, he wanted to know where his mom was, but he couldn't finish his sentence. Burt saw Kurt struggles and tried to soothe his son. He grabbed a piece of paper from the side table and began writing a quick message to Kurt. It read: "Don't be afraid. I'm here. We'll get through this Kurt." After Kurt read the note, he grabbed the pen out of his father's hand and tried again to ask his previous question: "Where is Mom?" At this question, Burt began to cry even harder, and quickly wrote: "I'm sorry Kurt. Your mom didn't make it. The angels took her to heaven." Kurt looked very confused and wrote back: "Are they going to bring her back?" To which Burt replied, "No Kurt, the angels took her to God to stay. She won't be back." Kurt began to cry and scream. He was angry at God. Who does He think He is taking his mom away from him?! Burt just grabbed Kurt again and held him tight until he fell asleep.

Kurt was woken up by a hand shaking him, but he didn't want to wake up. He didn't want to leave the peace sleep brought him. Sleep took away the burdens that a 10 year old should never have, but the shaking wouldn't stop so Kurt gave in. When he opened his eyes, he saw his doctor again, and he was informed they were going to do a few more tests. Kurt didn't want any more tests. He just wanted his mom to hold his hand, that always made things better, but as the thought comes into his mind, he's reminded that he'll never hold his mom's hand again. Kurt wants to go back to sleep and away from the probing, but he puts on a brave face because that's what his mother would have told him if she were there.

When Dr. Angelo is done with his tests Kurt is physically and emotionally exhausted. His dad tries to write him a note asking how he's feeling, but Kurt pushes it away. He doesn't feel like writing, so he lies back down on his bed, pulls the blankets over his head, and shuts out the world around him. Kurt's life will never be the same again. Life from now on was going to be hard; Kurt didn't need an adult telling him that. Kurt just wished his mother would be the one to hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be ok and that he was still her special little boy, but wishes can't always come true. So Kurt takes the silence and the darkness that the blankets give him and drifts asleep.

**A/N**: Hi, This is my first fanfiction ever so please by gentle. There is kind of a lack of deaf Kurt fanfictions and I was inspired to create this. I will put a disclaimer out that I'm not 100% educated on deaf culture, but am willing to learn. If there's any suggestions to make this story better, I am very willing to have constructive criticism. I hope everyone enjoys!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, this chapter is kind of a fast forward to start Kurt's life up to meet Blaine. It's kind of short and may seem a little choppy, but I'll try to be more detailed for the next chapter.

Kurt spends a week in the hospital before Dr. Angelo discharged him. Dr. Angelo is pretty convinced the nerve damage can't be repaired. He discusses Kurt's condition with Burt and hands him a few resources so Kurt can receive help transitioning from being a hearing person to being deaf. Neither Kurt nor Burt are prepared for what life will be like from now on.

A day after Kurt is discharged; they have the funeral for Elizabeth. Kurt holds his father's hands throughout the entire ceremony like his life depended on it. Burt tried to be strong for Kurt, although his heart was broken from the tragedy of his wife's death and his son's sudden deafness. Burt was determined for Kurt to have as normal of a childhood as possible, and to give him the same opportunities as hearing children. He loved his son so much, and nothing was going to stop his son from being happy. Burt had already adapted some aspects of the house for Kurt, he had the lights flicker when the doorbell rang to alert Kurt someone was at the door, and had plans to accommodate Kurt even more. He wanted Kurt to learn to be independent and grow to be self-sufficient.

Kurt was resistant to the change in his life. He hated that he had lost his mother. He hated the silence he was forced to live through. Two weeks after the accident, Kurt moped around the house, but mostly he stayed in his room until his father came to get him. Burt set up private lessons to learn sign language for himself and Kurt; however, Kurt refused to join the lessons. No matter how hard Burt tried to get Kurt to learn, Kurt just resisted even more. Kurt didn't want to be even more different than the kids at school, especially without his mom telling him she loved him. Kurt didn't even want to go back to school, but Burt wasn't having any of it. He had two more weeks to convince Kurt that he needed to learn sign language.

A few days later, Kurt wrote his dad a note letting him know he was ready to learn. Kurt doesn't know why he changed; he just woke up feeling like he had to do something. His mom had always wanted him to be happy. Currently he wasn't happy, but maybe if he did things his dad's way he would be happy again. Kurt attended the sign language class with his dad that day, and although he struggled at first getting his fingers and hands in the right positions, by the end of the session he was able to sign a greeting and spell his name. After a several more sessions, Kurt started to enjoy his lessons, and felt very accomplished when he could have a basic conversation with his dad through sign language. From then on, Kurt was determined to learn as much as he could and be as independent as he could. He knew things would still be hard, but he wanted to fight through it.

Burt had made him go back to school, and the kids bullied him even more. Kurt needed notes for the lesson written out for him at the beginning of each class, and special attention from his teachers. The kids knew now more than ever that he wasn't normal. Kurt knew they were saying mean things to him by looking at their faces, but no matter how much it hurt, he wasn't going to let them break him.

As the years went by Kurt and Burt were fluent in sign language and adapted well inside of their home. Burt's home was the only thing he was truly in control of. Burt kept his promise of giving Kurt a normal childhood and opportunities. After a lot of researching, he finally found someone to give his son piano lessons. He was proud he was able to give this to Kurt, Kurt had been asking for lessons for many months. Although a challenge, Kurt exceled in piano and enjoyed himself. Music was Kurt's escape from his life outside of his home.

Burt had no idea that each year Kurt was bullied more and more. Bullies started out with name calling, but since Kurt couldn't hear them, they began pushing him around and locking him inside of closets. As school life became worse, Kurt isolated himself as much as possible from his peers. He ate lunch in an isolated area where no one would bother him and when school was done for the day he would leave immediately to go back home. He believes isolation is the only way he will survive school. Kurt is determined his plan to isolate himself until college will work, but that is until he enters McKinley High School to begin his freshman year.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Just a note to say that if words are bolded then that's sign language. If it not bolded with quotations then someone is just talking. Enjoy!

Kurt wakes up with a startle as he feels his bed shaking. His alarm is going off, signally a new beginning at a new school as he begins high school. Kurt isn't too excited though. He knows that nothing is going to change. The kids who bullied him throughout his life are going to be at the same school with him joining the other bullies who already attend McKinley High. To make matters worse, his dad has hired an interpreter to be present at each one of his classes to make things easier on him. Kurt is thankful, of course. It's a lot easier to learn the material as its being said to you rather than sitting aimlessly in class trying to follow the pre-made notes. Kurt can't shake the feeling, however, that now he's going to be even more of a target. Maybe for a little while he could leave people who don't know him with the impression that he was a just a quiet kid, but with an interpreter, they will know immediately.

Now, Kurt isn't ashamed of being deaf. He knows that this is just his life, and has learned to accept it. Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't miss hearing his father's voice, singing his favorite songs, or just hear the rain pounding on the windows. Kurt sometimes gets jealous of his classmates. It's easier to make friends when you know how to communicate. He sees his peers mouths move rapidly and sees the laughter from another student in the conversation. Kurt can't have that with anyone other than his dad. His dad is great and all, but he wants friends his own age. Kids find out he's deaf and immediately they stop trying altogether to get to know him. It's frustrating and lonely. Although Kurt does realize some of his loneliness is his doing. He stopped making an effort long ago to isolate himself away from the harm of others, and at the end of the day, escape into his music. He may not hear the music he produces, but he can feel it and it makes him feel at peace. No one can take away his music; it's the only thing aside from his dad that always brings him happiness. Kurt knows that he must participate in the real world and leave his music and his dad, but it doesn't mean he wants to. Although, knowing he has a good home to came back to after a rough day, gives Kurt the strength to get out of bed and prepare for his first day of high school. No matter how much he's dreading it, he's going to finish the day with his head held high…at least Kurt hopes he does.

Kurt changes into the new clothes he laid out the night before for his first day of school. He does his detailed skin regimen, coifs his hair and puts just enough product in it to keep every strand in place, but not overdoing it, so his hair looks natural and effortless. When he's content with his appearance, Kurt heads down to the kitchen to get a good breakfast in his stomach. Burt is in the kitchen dressed in his clothes for work at Hummel Tires and Lube, drinking a cup of coffee when Kurt enters.

"**Hey Kurt! Ready for your first day of school?" **Burt signs

Kurt puts on his best smile and signs back, **"Ready as I can be."**

"**The first day can be scary Kurt, but I've already talked to your principle and the teachers. Everything will be alright. You're interpreter will meet you at your first class this morning. She has a copy of your schedule so she'll be at all of your classes, but won't walk with you to each class."**

"**Great. I don't need a babysitter. I can do everything by myself. I appreciate the interpreter, but I can do things on my own. I can read lips well enough."**

"**I know that Kurt, but try this out for a little bit. You may find an interpreter will make school easier on you."**

"**Fine Dad. I will. I'll be home right after school for my piano lesson."**

"**OK bud. Have a good day."**

Kurt heads out to the bus stop and waits away from the other kids for the bus to arrive. There are new kids at the bus stop, but none of them try to talk to him. Kurt feels slightly relieved, when they ignore his presence.

The bus drops them at the front of the school. Kurt takes a slow, deep breath to calm him before heading into the halls of McKinley. As he enters, he removes his schedule he printed off online from his book bag to figure out where his home room is located. He loses his way a few times, but eventually makes it. To Kurt's surprise, no one has even bothered him. He definitely thought someone would be able to sense that he was a freshman, and would tease him for it. He's thankful though that he's being disregarded. He briefly thinks, "Maybe this year won't be that bad."

Unfortunately, his thoughts jinx him as he's tripped by another student as he makes his way to his seat. He recognizes this boy as Dave Karofsky who has teased him even before he lost his hearing. "Great," Kurt thinks, "more time spent with this Neanderthal." Dave's mouth is moving, so Kurt assumes he's saying something mean. It's times like these where he doesn't mind the quiet. He doesn't have to worry about Dave's words cutting through his self-esteem and lowering his self-worth. He has seen other kids after they've been a part of Karofsky's verbal abuse. He doesn't want the same for himself. Kurt already can't wait to be done with high school, and move out of Ohio. Kurt stands up, brushes off his clothes and lifts his head even higher, as if he isn't fazed at all by Karofsky's bullying. He tries locating his interpreter so he knows where to sit, but he doesn't see her, so he just takes the front seat on the opposite side of the room from Karofsky.

Kurt's interpreter finally arrives after the final bell rings, which Kurt knows from the flashing light by the bell. She signs an apology, and the home room teacher begins to speak, and hands out each students locker number and combination. Yet another place Kurt has to figure out the location to. Kurt looks around the room, taking in the faces of the kids. They're all familiar to him. They've been in the same classes since kindergarten, except for a few that moved to Lima during elementary school. Kurt again pays attention to his interpreter again so he can figure out what the teacher is saying. When the interpreters hand abruptly stop, Kurt looks confused. It was obvious the teacher was in the middle of a sentence. The teacher, the interpreter, and everyone else in the class are looking at the door, which Kurt assumes must have been opened loudly. He looks over at the door like everyone else, and sees a boy with short curly hair with just a little too much hair gel moving his mouth so fast Kurt can't read his lips at all and flailing his arms. He looks out of breath like he ran to the class. The teacher cuts the boy off telling him something and pointing to a chair to have a seat. Kurt notices the chair the teacher is pointing to is the one next to his. No one ever sits next to him, and Kurt quite enjoys it. The kid looks at the chair and then at Kurt and smiles slightly at him, his hazel eyes warm and happy. Kurt quickly turns his head away from the kid in favor of facing forward with his eyes towards the floor.

After a few minutes, Kurt feels a slight tap on his shoulder. He hesitantly lifts his eyes up from the floor and toward the person tapping is shoulder. All the other kids around him have turned toward the person next to them and are talking. Kurt realizes he must have missed some sort of class assignment from the teacher since he was ignoring his interpreter. The kid who stormed into class was trying to get his attention.

When Kurt looks at the kid, his mouth is moving a little too fast, but Kurt can understand the basics, "Hi, I'm Blaine. What's your name?" Kurt smiles uncomfortably, not really wanting to use his interpreter, but doesn't want this kid he's never seen before to know he's deaf. Who knows if this kid will torment him later for it? He figures he could just take out a paper and write to him, but most people find this long and annoying. Kurt looks into the kids eyes again, trying to gauge if he truly is a nice person. He certainly looks like it. This guy is gorgeous! His clothes fit him in just the right places showing off the prospects that this guy works out. He definitely has some fashion sense, which he can't say about the rest of the student body. He has beautiful, thick, curly hair. Kurt can just imagine putting his fingers through his hair… Kurt shakes his head. No, he can't have these thoughts. Who knows if this Blaine guy is gay? Kurt isn't even out to anyone, not even his dad. Although, he assumes people suspect. Kurt is pulled from is thoughts when the kid's mouth moves again. He sighs and just gives in. Kurt looks at his interpreter to let her know to pay attention to him, then lifts his hands and begins to sign.

"**Sorry. Hi. My name is Kurt." **Kurt notices Blaine's eyes widen just a little bit, not expecting for Kurt to be deaf. Blaine's eyes move over to the interpreter where she is telling him what Kurt said. Blaine opens his mouth again to speak, but doesn't look at Kurt. Instead, he begins talking to his interpreter.

"Oh, I didn't know he was deaf. Can you tell him it's nice to meet him?"

Kurt rolls his eyes as he reads Blaine's lips. Kurt gets annoyed when people think they can't talk to him. Yes, he understands that communication is difficult, but come on! Just because Kurt is deaf doesn't mean he doesn't have words of his own. His interpreter signs everything Blaine said exactly the way he said them. Kurt is happy his interpreter doesn't try to change what Blaine has said. It makes him believe that somehow she understands how he feels. Kurt rolls his eyes and begins to sign again, his interpreter speaking out what he's saying to Blaine.

"**You know, if you want to talk to me you can say it to me, not my interpreter. I'm deaf, not stupid!"**

Again Blaine turns to the interpreter saying, "Sorry, I don't think you're stupid. I'm just trying to talk to you."

Kurt doesn't even look over at his interpreter. He read Blaine's lips clearly. Kurt is fuming right now. Why is Blaine talking to his interpreter if he wants to talk to him? He just wants someone to talk to him!

"**If you're talking to me then look at me, not her! I can read your lips! I understand what you're saying. If you want to talk to me, look at me!" **As Kurt is signing, his signs become more emotional and angry.

Blaine's face drops and he just stares at Kurt. Kurt doesn't like this attention. He's angry at himself for yelling at Blaine. Kurt knows Blaine may not have experience communicating with someone who is deaf, but it's still frustrating and he can't get his emotions under control. Kurt stands up abruptly, making the whole class stare at him, and he runs out of the classroom leaving a dumbfounded Blaine behind.

Kurt runs until he sees the boy's bathroom. He slams open the door to the thankfully empty bathroom, finds a stall and locks the door. Kurt can't help but cry. He hasn't cried in school since the 6th grade. He's always refused to let the bullies get to him, but this is a situation Kurt wasn't familiar with. Blaine looked shocked and sad. Anyone could tell that Kurt was yelling at him by the way he was moving his arms and hands and facial expressions. He thought that Blaine could be a potential friend. He was the only person Kurt didn't know in the class, so he could have been a fresh start for Kurt. Blaine looked friendly, and caring, at least Kurt thought he did, unless Blaine's gorgeous looks got in the way of Kurt's good judgment. He was sure he just ruined his chances with Blaine, and his first day of school just started!

Kurt didn't even know he wanted a friend that badly. Sure, he said he wanted friends, but he kind of just accepted the fact that he was going to be without friends for a while. He's never cried about it. He always said, as long as he has his dad and his piano he would always be happy no matter what everyone else did to him. Maybe Kurt can be brave and apologize to Blaine without his interpreter. Maybe Blaine will forgive him, even though he doesn't know him. Kurt doesn't even know why he even cares. If it was anyone else in his class he would have been proud of himself and felt indifferent. Kurt has no idea why Blaine is different than anyone else. He will probably be just like every other stupid classmate he's ever had. Kurt doesn't want to care, but he does. Kurt decided, if he cares this much, then maybe his soul is telling him something. So, Kurt makes the decision, if he sees Blaine again, he will apologize properly and try to start over. That's all he can do. Who knows, maybe Blaine is just as nice as he looks. Kurt just hopes Blaine wants to start over.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kurt finally leaves the bathroom stall, after all his tears are dry and he has a plan to make amends to Blaine, it's time to move to his first real class, Algebra 1. Math isn't his favorite subject, but he does well in all of his classes so he's not worried. What Kurt is worried about is if Blaine will be in any of his classes today. A part of Kurt wants Blaine to be in his classes, but another part of him is scared. He has a plan to apologize, but doesn't know how to approach Blaine or how he will react to his apology. He has never felt so horrible for yelling at someone. The feelings Kurt is having are usually saved for his dad. When Kurt yells at Burt it's usually due to frustration, but he always feels horrible immediately after because he cares about him. However, Kurt knows nothing about Blaine and has no idea why he feels so strongly. Maybe it was the way emotions showed so clearly on Blaine's face, especially in those beautiful, dreamy hazel eyes. All Kurt could see was hurt and pain. He knows Blaine is new, maybe Blaine needed a friend just as much as he did, and Kurt just ruined the new kid's first day…great.

Kurt enters the math classroom and begins looking for the curly head of hair and hazel eyed boy, but no one in the room fits Blaine's features. He next finds the face of his interpreter and sits in the seat positioned in front of her.

"**I'm sorry for my outburst earlier, and leaving you in the class room." **Kurt signs to her.

"**No worries," **she signs** "My brother is deaf; he also got annoyed at people for not understanding him. I understand. And by the way, I talked to your dad after he hired me, but I never got a chance to introduce myself to you Kurt. I'm sorry I was late to your homeroom so I couldn't tell you my name. I'm A-N-D-R-E-A." **Andrea then shows Kurt her sign name which is the sign for smile with an A. Kurt then showed her his sign name which is the sign for eye with the sign for K because of Kurt's beautiful blue eyes. His mother always talked about his eyes and how when she was unhappy all she needed to do was look at Kurt's eyes to smile once again. Kurt thought it was the perfect sign name for him.

Algebra class began when a large woman who, in Kurt's opinion, had the most horrid dress on in the entire world, and what looked like a permanent scowl. Her face was a little scary, but her voice was warm and welcoming. She introduced herself as Ms. Peabody. She handed each student a syllabus and passed out their textbooks. Ms. Peabody then stood at the front of the class and informed them that they weren't going to start their first lesson today. Since they were freshmen, she wanted to get to know them better. When Kurt saw that signed to him he became nervous. When teachers wanted to know them better that usually meant students spoke in front of the class, said their name, and usually some interesting fact about themselves. Kurt hated having the class's attention on him. He preferred invisibility. This day keeps getting worse, if that was even possible. They were given a take home pre-test so she could determine what they remembered from middle school, then pointed to a kid in the back of the class to begin the introductions. Kurt watched his interpreter as his classmates introduced themselves one by one, and as expected everyone had to say their name and a fact about themselves. Usually he sat there without knowing what any of his class mates were saying, but now with his interpreter, he could understand everything. He quite enjoyed it. This one girl was quite interesting. Kurt knew of her, Rachel Berry, but to him, she seemed quite annoying. Her mouth always moved so fast. He didn't have any interest in her at all until she said a fact about herself, she had two dads. He never heard of anyone having two dads. He thought he was the only gay person in Ohio. "Maybe she would be a good friend…" Kurt thought. Introductions continued through each row until Andrea told him it was his turn. Usually the teacher made him stand in front of the class and write on the board about himself. It was always mortifying. But now with Andrea, he was able to stay in his seat. He had to think real fast about what fact he would use. He didn't want to go with the obvious "I'm deaf" response. Kurt then settled on one of his passions as an adequate reply. Kurt lifted his hands to begin to sign.

"**Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel. I like to play piano." **

Kurt saw Andrea's mouth finish his sentence for him, and immediately after he was finished she began signing something to him that Rachel Berry was saying. He was shocked, but interested.

"How can you play piano when you can't hear?!"

Kurt became a little irritated, but calmed himself and was patient. His dad would always say most people are ignorant and he should be patient. Kurt just decided to respond kindly but sincerely.

"**I can feel the vibrations. Each note feels a certain way. If I play a wrong note I feel it."**

"Are you even any good?"

Kurt took a deep calming breath before responding to this blunt girl. **"I honestly don't care if I'm good or not. I love to play. I play for myself. I love the way music feels. My teacher says that I'm one of her best students though."**

Rachel must have begun to speak again but Ms. Peabodyquickly cut her off mid-sentence. When the bell rang, Kurt couldn't get out of his seat fast enough. He's never had a conversation with one of his classmates, and never has he had so much attention on him in a class. It was frightening to Kurt, and unwelcomed.

Kurt found his next class, US history. The teacher had his back turned to him when he came in, but Kurt could tell he was an older, short man with greasy gray hair. His dress shirt was tucked into his pants in a sloppy manner; it was a wrinkled mess as if it had been sitting in a laundry basket for weeks. After his assessment of the man Kurt looked again for Blaine, but didn't spot him. He took his seat again at the end of the front row. He didn't know what to do about Blaine or if he would see him in school again, but Kurt needed to be prepared just in case. So, Kurt wrote a quick note:

_Blaine, _

_Sorry about the way I acted earlier. That wasn't nice, and I'm truly sorry. Can we start over?_

_Sorry again,_

_Kurt_

It seemed like a stupid note, but he didn't know what else to do. Hopefully it would be enough.

Andrea joined him a couple minutes later. This teacher, Mr. A, thankfully skipped introductions and began teaching. Kurt watched Andrea, looked at his pre-made notes, and wrote more notes where it was necessary. Soon enough, class was over and it was time to join the herds of unruly students for lunch in the cafeteria. After too many bad experiences at lunch, Kurt usually went to the library alone where it was peaceful. But he didn't know where the library was. McKinley was so different from middle school. He was determined to survive the first day in the cafeteria. Maybe he could find that Rachel girl. She didn't seem too bad even though she was rude. He also rationalized that it would be a good opportunity to see if Blaine was in his lunch period. Andrea signed to Kurt that she would be back after lunch and Kurt was left alone to walk to lunch.

Entering the cafeteria was intimidating. There were so many kids there. Kurt could see all the students talking; some looked like they were yelling at each other. He could imagine how loud this place was. Kurt stood at the entrance assessing his environment. He looked for Blaine first since he was a high priority in his mind. At first, he couldn't spot him. It looked like he was never going to be able to talk to Blaine again. Kurt made a horrible first impression. He needed to make things better. He kept looking, wishing and hoping to spot him through the large amount of bodies occupying the cafeteria. Finally, Kurt found Blaine sitting at a table by himself at the corner of the cafeteria. He quickly made his way towards him hoping no one would bother him and draw attention to him. When he made it to Blaine's table, Blaine didn't notice him at all. Kurt took a moment to take a calming breath to control his nerves while he went unnoticed. The only person he's ever apologized to was his dad, and Burt was obligated to forgive Kurt since he was family. Blaine didn't have to be nice to him or be his friend. He didn't like the prospect of being rejected.

Kurt waved his hand to grab Blaine's attention. Blaine looked surprised, shocked, and wary that Kurt approached him. He quickly placed the folded paper that had his note on the table in front of Blaine. He carefully picked it up and read it. He then turned away from Kurt. Kurt felt a sudden pang of hurt in his stomach and was about to turn away when Blaine turned back towards Kurt with a pen in his hand. He wrote back to Kurt and handed him the note which read:

_Would you like to sit with me?_

There was no "I forgive you" or "Let's start over" or "No, I'm sorry I was a jerk first." Kurt ignored his inner thoughts as he was sure they were going to get him into trouble again. He needed to be patient with Blaine. He really wants a friend. Maybe high school could be different even if there were still bullies. Kurt nodded his head at Blaine and took the seat across from him. Kurt went into is book back to pull out his lunch and a notebook and pen. Kurt wrote to Blaine:

_Do you mind if we write to each other? I know it's annoying and if you don't want to write that's fine. I can read your lips._

After Blaine read the note he wrote back. _I don't mind. I guess I should apologize too. I've never met someone who is deaf. I don't know how to act._

Kurt looked a little confused but responded back quickly. _You don't have to act like anyone or anything except for yourself. I want to be treated like you treat everyone else. I want to be talked to. I don't want you to talk to someone as if I'm a child who doesn't understand. I have my own mind. I don't need anyone acting differently for me._

_OK Kurt. I understand. Let's go back to the beginning then. My name is Blaine._

_Hi Blaine. My name is Kurt._

_Do you mind if I ask you how do you sign our introductions?_

Kurt smiled a little. No one had ever asked that. This is the farthest he's ever gone in a conversation. He began signing very slowly.

**My name is B-L-A-I-N-E. **Kurt waited for Blaine to imitate the signs. He fumbled a little, but to Kurt it was very cute and endearing. Kurt made a few corrections for Blaine so he could spell his name correctly.

Blaine wrote: _Now how do you sign your name Kurt?_

**K-U-R-T, but my family uses my sign name. **Kurt quickly showed Blaine his sign name and waited for Blaine to sign back to him. Kurt couldn't help but feel happy. No one had ever been so patient with him except for his dad. Blaine was so charming. When he finished the sign Blaine smiled so big his eyes crinkled a little. Kurt had never seen anyone so beautiful before. He decided to continue this conversation.

_Tell me something about yourself._

_What would you like to know?_

_Anything. Your family? Favorite color? Hobbies? Interests? Anything you want to tell me._

Blaine smiled again after he read the note and began his response. _Hmmm… Anything huh? Let's see… Well, I have an older brother. He's 10 years older than me and lives in California. I don't see him much. I love my parents, but they're always away on business. Favorite color: Green. Hobbies/Interests: I enjoy singing and playing piano. They have a glee club here and I want to join. I'm auditioning later today. I also enjoy boxing. What about you? Tell me about yourself._

Kurt thought about it for a moment not knowing what he wanted to exactly disclose to Blaine. He finally decided to just give the basics until he knew Blaine better even though Blaine did give personal information, Kurt wasn't ready yet.

_That's cool that you box. That may come in handy in this school. I live with my dad. We're close. My favorite color is blue. We have something in common. I like to play the piano._

Blaine seemed interested in what Kurt was telling him, writing quickly and enthusiastically back.

_I like blue too. Your eyes are a very beautiful blue. I bet anything blue you wear, makes them even more gorgeous. I would love to hear you play piano sometime. If you are will to play for me that is…_

Kurt blushed and blinked a few times after he read what Blaine wrote. Did Blaine just tell him that his eyes were beautiful and then used the word gorgeous? Was Blaine even gay? Oh he really hopes he's gay. Blaine is gorgeous. Not just his eyes, but everything on or about him. Kurt bit his lip not knowing if he should cross this bridge with Blaine, but he couldn't help his curiosity. He needed to know if Blaine was gay. Kurt has always been the only gay kid, and because of that he kept his sexual attraction to himself. He knew what the mindset of the idiots in this town was. Kurt took the chance and asked the question to curb his curious mind.

_Sorry, if this is crossing boundaries, but are you gay? You don't have to answer if you don't want to._

Blaine looked at Kurt and looked like he was thinking about if he should answer the question. Kurt became a little nervous while Blaine wrote back.

_It's OK. I don't mind. To answer your question, yes, I am gay. I've always been. That's not a problem right?_

Kurt looked shocked. Does Blaine really think he's straight? He knows he's not out, but it doesn't stop people from just assuming.

_No, no! Not a problem at all. I'm gay too actually. I've never told anyone that before. People just look at me and call me a fag anyways._

_People are douchebags. You mean, you haven't even told your dad that you're gay? I thought you guys were close._

_We are close, but I don't know how he would react. He's a very manly guy. Loves sports, is a mechanic, and so on. He probably already knows. I mean, come on and look at me._

_Then you should tell him if you think he already knows. I think he would appreciate you confiding in him._

_Have you told your parents?_

_Yes, I told them this summer. My parents weren't excited at first, but my mom said that her and my dad still loved me and would be there for me. My dad never talked to me about it, but he still treats me like he always has so I guess I can't complain._

Kurt just nodded his head. Maybe one day he can tell his dad, just not yet.

Kurt is startled out of his thoughts when he sees Blaine and everyone else starting to move and file out into the hallways. Before Blaine leaves, Kurt grabs his attention again and writes a note.

_I enjoyed talking to you or I mean writing to you. What class do you have next?_

Blaine responds, _Biology_

_Me too. Do you want to walk there together?_

Blaine nods at Kurt and he packs up his notebook and forgotten lunch and walks out with Blaine. They walk together silently since it's pretty much impossible to write and walk at the same time. It's not uncomfortable though. Kurt glances at Blaine every so often. Blaine catches Kurt looking at him and laughs when he sees Kurt blush. They sit next to each other once they make it to the biology classroom. There's about 5 minutes before class is supposed to start so Kurt proceeds to pull out his notebook again, gather courage and write to Blaine.

_Thank you for forgiving my actions earlier today. You're really nice. I have ALS as my last class so you're probably not in it. I would like to get to know you better if you would like. You can text me sometime if you want… 614-555-8990. Oh and make sure you don't call because, ya know, I won't be able to hear you ;)_

Kurt places the note on Blaine's desk just as the bell rings and the teacher begins to talk. Kurt has to pay attention to Andrea as she signs to him, but he spares a quick glance to Blaine and notices a slight smile on his face. Kurt is paying attention to his teacher and Andrea as well as the pre-made notes trying not to miss a thing. He barely notices Blaine tossing a note onto his desk. He opens it as discreetly as possible to read the note.

_Yea, I am taking French next. I would love to text you. My number is 614-555-7835 ;) _

Kurt can't help but blush at Blaine's response. Blaine actually wants to get to know him. He may actually make a friend this year, or maybe Blaine can be more… Kurt certainly wouldn't mind. He can't help thinking about how good Blaine and he would look next to each other. Or how perfectly their hands may fit together. Or how Blaine's lips would feel on his lips or his neck or anywhere on his body. Kurt has to shake the thoughts out of his head. His face feels flushed and his pants are feeling a little uncomfortable. He can't have these thoughts in school especially not right next to Blaine. Kurt notices the bell to be ringing as the lights on the wall flash. Everyone gathers up their belongings and head out the door. Blaine waves good bye to Kurt as they go to their respective classes.

Kurt and Blaine don't see each other for the rest of the day, but Kurt's mood is lifted. When Kurt comes home, Burt notices Kurt is unusually happy when he unpacks his school lunch in the kitchen, but he doesn't get a chance to say anything. Kurt hurried to his room.

In his room, Kurt begins unpacking his school books and lays out his homework from the first day. Kurt sighs, why do teachers have to give homework on the first day of school? How annoying. As Kurt begins his Algebra pre-test he feels his phone vibrate with a text message. When he looks at it, he's happy to see it's from Blaine.

Hey Kurt. Is it just me or are you also surprised at the amount of homework we have on the first day?

Kurt chuckles. Yea. I feel swamped already. It's going to be a tough year.

Kurt and Blaine continue to text back and forth until Burt tells Kurt dinner is ready. Kurt tells Blaine he'll talk to him tomorrow, and heads downstairs feeling extremely happy. The first day started bumpy and downright horribly, but talking to Blaine made Kurt so happy and at ease. He finally didn't feel different when he was with him. Kurt did something he never thought he would do on the first day of school. He made a new friend.

Kurt entered the kitchen and sat at the table with his dad. His dad ordered pizza tonight, not feeling in the mood to make anything.

**How was your first day of school Kurt? **Burt signs

Kurt can't help the smile that forms on his face. **It was good actually. **He surprisingly had a good day after the bullying incident with Karofsky and the outburst with Blaine. Burt noticed his son's reaction and decided to get to the bottom of Kurt's mood.

**I can tell. Make a new friend?**

**Sort of… maybe… yes? **Kurt didn't really know how to answer the question. Yes, Blaine and he had great conversations. Kurt, honestly, really liked Blaine, but could he consider Blaine a friend yet? He didn't know.

**Oh? How do you not know? **Burt replies.

**We only wrote to each other a little. It's hard to have a long, in-depth conversation writing down responses. Also, we only have lunch and a class together. **Kurt decided to leave out the incident in homeroom. Everything was fine now. His dad didn't need to know.

**Well, if that's the case, invite him over after school on Friday. He can have dinner with us and the rest of the evening you guys can get to know each other better. **Burt smiled at his son. He could see how happy he was. Although Kurt was the toughest kid he knew, Burt knew he needed a friend.

**Dad, it's probably too soon to invite him over. We just met.**

**It's not a date Kurt. **Burt stated nonchalantly** It's never too early to hang out with a new friend.**

Kurt's eyes went wide after what his dad said. Did his dad really know he was gay? How could he mention something like that so calmly like he didn't care? Kurt's heart pumped hard, he didn't know how to respond to his dad. Should he just ignore it? Kurt raised his hands again shakily, nerves taking over his control over his body.

**What did you say? **Kurt asked

**You saw what I told you Kurt, what's the big deal? **Burt looked like he didn't understand why Kurt was all the sudden nervous.

Kurt responded, **You know that I'm gay?**

Burt looked a little taken back. So that's why Kurt was nervous. Of course he suspected Kurt was gay. He was his son. He could always tell he was different than everyone else since he was three years old. Burt and his wife never cared that their son was different. They loved their son. Burt thought carefully before answering his son. **Your mother and I always suspected. We never cared that you were different. We knew we would love you no matter what Kurt, and after her death and our world was transformed, my love for you is the only thing that has been constant.**

**Thank you Dad. **Kurt had tears welling up in his eyes. He doesn't know why he ever thought Burt would act differently towards him. His dad is the only person after his mom died who has always supported him, loved him, and provided every opportunity to make his life as normal as possible after the accident. Kurt stood from his chair and hugged his dad. He felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Yes, he didn't plan on telling his dad that he was gay anytime soon, but it didn't matter. His dad knew and he still loved him. His life didn't have a dramatic change. Everything was still normal.

Kurt returned to his seat at the table to finish his dinner. He and his dad didn't communicate for a few minutes before Kurt decided to sign to his dad.** Thank you for allowing Blaine to come over on Friday. I would love to get to know him better.**

Burt smirked at his son. If he didn't know any better, Kurt may have a little crush on this Blaine guy. **Is Blaine good looking?**

Kurt blushed yet again and chuckled at his dad's question. After the conversation Kurt had with his dad, he couldn't help giving an overly honest answer to his question. **Good looking doesn't even describe Blaine. **

Burt laughed at his response. It had been awhile since he'd seen Kurt so happy and free. If this was because of Blaine, then he would gladly welcome this boy into their home. **I look forward to meeting this boy Kurt.**

After dinner Kurt excused himself to finish the rest of his homework. When he finished, he did his nighttime regimen and hopped into bed more hopeful and excited about school tomorrow. He struggled falling asleep, too excited about the next day. He couldn't wait to invite Blaine over to his house tomorrow. He was so drawn to Blaine. Kurt wanted a friendship with Blaine. Sure he was very attracted to Blaine, but let's be honest, he's deaf. Anything more than a friendship would be very hard on Blaine. It's hurtful for Kurt to acknowledge, but it's the truth. He's believed no one will ever want him because he's deaf. Everyone has always seen him as the deaf kid, not as Kurt, the kind, shy, and musically talented person. There are no guarantees Blaine won't be the same as all the rest. No, Kurt won't look for more with Blaine. Friendship is all he needs.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning comes a little too early for Kurt. He's never been a morning person, but he drags himself out of bed. Lord knows how long it takes for him to get ready in the morning and he doesn't want to be late. Kurt picks out an outfit that's stylish but not too over the top for school. He doesn't want to paint a target on his forehead for the bullies, but that doesn't mean he wants to look like the rest of the cattle at the school. After he does his skin regimen carefully, Kurt is ready to grab a quick breakfast. He needs to be at school in 15 minutes.

Kurt rushes downstairs, passing his father, and grabbing a granola bar from the pantry. He quickly signs, **See ya Dad! Love you! **and rushes to the bus stop just in time for the bus.

Kurt gets to his homeroom and finds the seat he sat in before. Hopefully Blaine will take the seat next to him. He pulls out his notebook just in case. Andrea walks in signing her greeting to Kurt. They talk briefly before Kurt's attention is drawn to the door where Blaine is walking through. Their eyes meet and Blaine smiles which causes Kurt to blush and break eye contact. Blaine takes the seat next to Kurt and takes the notebook off of Kurt's desk.

_Hi Kurt! How are you today? _

Kurt laughs silently at Blaine's boldness, and quickly writes a response.

_Hi Blaine. I'm fine. How are you today? _Kurt shyly hands the notebook back to Blaine.

_I'm doing great. I like your outfit today by the way. _

Kurt takes back the notebook as the teacher walks in and starts talking. He reads Blaine's response and thinks he's so adorable. Kurt catches Blaine's eye again and smiles brightly at him as a way of saying thank you for the compliment.

The rest of the class goes by quickly. Both Kurt and Blaine were too busy listening to the teacher to pass notes. When the bell rings, all the students part ways to go to their next class. Kurt won't see Blaine until his lunch, which gives him time to think of the proper way to ask Blaine to his house on Friday.

His class flies by per usual, and to his surprise no one has bothered him in the class. Maybe because he has his interpreter there and no one wants to get in trouble with her. "Hmm…Having an interpreter wasn't such a bad idea after all. Dad:1 Kurt:0" Kurt thinks. When the class is over every student files out quickly to head to the cafeteria.

Most people can make it to the cafeteria without difficulty, but that doesn't seem to be the case for Kurt. After he says bye to Andrea, he walks only half way down the hall before he's shoved into the lockers. It stings of course, but Kurt has had practice over the years covering up his pain. He will never give a bully what they want, not anymore. He doesn't want to be seen as weak, or disabled. So, Kurt pulls himself off the lockers and attempts to keep walking and ignore of course the biggest bully of them all, Dave Karofsky. Dave though doesn't want to just let Kurt ignore him because what's the fun in that? So Dave pushes Kurt again and then slams himself into Kurt pinning him to the locker so that they're face to face. Dave begins his verbal abuse on Kurt who can't hear a thing. He wonders to himself, why does Dave waste his time verbally abusing him when he can't hear? Kurt does see though. Dave isn't talking so fast that Kurt can't read his lips, and maybe he's doing it on purpose. But Kurt has never told anyone that he can read lips, except for his Dad, Andrea, and Blaine. Dave keeps ranting:

"You're so disgusting, you fag! Why do you even breathe?! You're such a waste of space, so useless. Why would anyone even want you? You can't even hear! You're not like the rest of us. How can you even stand yourself?!"

Kurt can feel tears welling up in his eyes, but he doesn't want them to fall. He can't satisfy Dave by showing weakness or even showing that he understood him. Kurt closes his eyes and fades away into the silence. Why didn't he think of this in the first place? Why did he allow himself to even try to understand what Dave was saying? Sometimes Kurt was too curious for his own good.

Dave kept screaming at him. He could feel the boys breathe coming at him, and people were probably staring at them. Why wasn't anyone stopping this? But Kurt just kept melting into the silence. It was the safest place right now. He could block out the boys razor sharp words, and wait until he's out of breathe to speak anymore.

Suddenly, Kurt felt himself being released very suddenly. It felt like Dave had been pushed. Kurt peeks his eye open so he could see what had happened. When Kurt opens his eyes fully, he sees Dave on the ground and Blaine standing in front of him facing Dave in a protective pose. Dave's eyes were so big; surprise and shock were written all over his face. Dave was shouting at Blaine, and Kurt was trying to read his lips, but couldn't. Blaine might have said something back but he couldn't be sure. Kurt was interrupted from his deep concentration by Blaine tugging him down the hallway and into the boys bathroom. He pulled out a notebook and pen and wrote to Kurt.

"_Are you ok?" _Blaine wrote hurriedly.

"_I'm fine Blaine. Happens sometimes. You shouldn't have helped me. Now he'll be after you."_

"_I don't care what that ingrate does to me. He shouldn't have been doing what he was doing or saying what he was saying."_

"_It's nothing new. I've been called useless and a fag before. It happens and I get over it." _Kurt was trying to downplay how hurt he really was. Kurt just wanted this to be a good day. He wanted to be happy, and ask Blaine to his house and just be happy to have a real friend for once in his life. Now everything was ruined. This day just needed to be over. Thankfully he had a piano lesson after school today. He needed to get lost in music right now. He needed to be soothed and comforted and to forget how cruel the world was. Music has been the only thing to do that, not even his dad could do what music did for him.

When Kurt looked up at Blaine. Blaine looked shocked for some reason. Kurt made a "what" gesture with his hands. Blaine started writing again.

"_You know what Dave was saying to you?"_

"_Of course I know. I told you I could read lips." _Kurt didn't know what was so shocking to Blaine.

"_Yeah, I know you told me that but I thought that the person had to be, ya know, talking really slow or something. Sorry if I'm offending you I just… I'm trying to learn. I guess that's why you closed your eyes."_

Blaine could be too adorable sometimes. He looked so shy, like he was just waiting for Kurt to blow up at him like the first day. He again, felt a little sorry that he exploded on Blaine that day. He wanted Blaine to be open with him. He wanted Blaine to know him, and for him to know Blaine.

"_I'm not offended Blaine. I'll answer any question you have about me. I'm a pretty good lip reader. You don't have to talk so slow for me to understand. Actually, it's better if you talk at a normal pace or the words look distorted. If you talk too fast then it's hard to keep up and I may catch a word here or there. I know Dave was saying something to you, but I couldn't catch what he said. Do you mind telling me what he said? Oh, and don't hesitate to ask me questions. I want to get to know you better"_

"_It's not important what he said to me. Maybe I'll tell you later, but I just want to forget him right now and focus on you. I want to get to know you better too Kurt." _Blaine wrote with a little blush. Kurt was so amazing. Blaine doesn't know how he is even real. He's so strong. Blaine really did want to get to know Kurt, and try to understand him.

Kurt smiled so big after reading Blaine's message. He forgot about how cruel Dave was earlier today for just this moment while watching Blaine. Kurt found his courage in that instant.

"_Blaine, would you like to come over to my house this Friday after school?" _Kurt handed Blaine the notebook and bit his lip while he waited for Blaine's response. He didn't have to wait long before the notebook was being place back into his hands with an answer.

"_Yes_"

Maybe it wasn't just music that could make him forget about the cruelty of the world around him. In that moment he was so overjoyed about having Blaine in his life he couldn't remember what happened earlier. The only thing on his mind was that for once in his life he had a genuine friend who didn't mind overcoming the obstacles of him being deaf.

As the week passed by, Kurt only that of Blaine and how on Friday he would be with Blaine.


End file.
